Monday, May 25, 2009

Sometimes I really have to stretch to reach them all

I have many children. Four born from my body. Four who came with my husband. One young one who came from sadness and stayed with joy via adoption and fortunate circumstance. And, a few who became mine due to circumstances far beyond their control. It is, frankly, hard to manage to have enough time, energy and brain power to give each one his or her huge share of my heart.

Some make it easy. The small one is right here in front of my eyes each and every day. She has my love and attention poured upon her like water.

The not quite grown ones who have no other momma use their cell phones to text and text and text me their feelings and their questions and their wonder at the how the world seems to work. I can text a quick reply like a mad woman now, even while walking in a downpour at Walt Disney World. These young people need an immediate response. Each question or comment is 'critical' and they're used to instant everything. I can send hugs and encouragement, a small digitized pat on the back or smack on the rear and it seems to help.

But the grown ones, the really grown up ones are past all that. They long ago took wing and moved on into worlds of their own creation. They experience things for which I have little understanding. They know stuff I will never know I don't know. It's difficult to find the time and circumstance to make sure each is reminded of my admiration and deep affection. It's hard to make sure each knows how amazed I am at what she/he has become. But when it does happen - even for just a moment of meeting the gaze of a pair of handsome eyes, grown up eyes, - it fills me with such a sense of peace and pride I can't begin to express it.

There's an old saying 'You're only as happy as your most miserable child'. Right now I'm pretty happy. It feels good.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

How lucky I am to be Meme

Meme, that's me !

Bella gave me the name when she first came. She decided it was spelled Meme and so it is. I have been her "Momma" a long while now but the name still hung around. When Sabina was on the way, Thea asked me what I would like to be called and the only thing name that came to mind was the one I'd been given a few years before.

Now Sabina and Iris call me that funny name. It fits somehow and hopefully one day soon the lovely Ada will laugh and say "Silly Meme" as her cousin and sister do now. Ada of the huge deep blue eyes and the eyelashes that are longer than her hair. Ada, who makes me think of her father when he was little. She has his expressions and the way he'd look deep into your eyes and then grin a huge grin.

Sabina loves nicknames and frequently now calls me "Meem" which makes us both giggle. We are Bean and Meem, quite a pair.
She is so serious one minute and cracking a joke the next. She hates it when anyone is hurt or sad and runs to give huge hugs. She asked Bella "Honey, are you gonna be okay?" Empathy in a not-yet three year old. Wow.

Iris' belly laugh is huge for her little body but it matches her dynamic personality. A two year old who is starting to read, can count and plays computer games - she's amazing. I love to hear her belt out "Meme, that's funny when you do that."

These lovely ones live quite a distance from me but a part of me stays with them whenever I have to leave them.

I am indeed lucky to be me and to be Meme.