I'll bet you didn't know

a tiny dog can take up a lot of room in a young girl's heart. Isabella is head over heels in love. She's one of those clumsy little puppies whose back feet swerve around to nearly meet her front when she runs.

She's curious about new things, too. I'll bet you couldn't tell.

Magnolia Joy

That little red-brown dog now resides at our house and at present is whining in her crate in the laundry room. Her name used to be 'kiwi' but Isabella has given her a new name (see title). She will be called Maggie J

I have truly lost my mind.

A puppy? I don't need a puppy.

But Bella does. She NEEDS a puppy. The central focus of her life has been to have something to love and snuggle, some creature who loves her with total devotion. Mr B loved her like that but hated chubby girls. Seriously, why would a sweet-natured, gentle, loving black lab HATE chubby girls? Well, more than chubby - I hate to use the word obese but it fits the three little girls he tried mightily to attack. And, after four years of effort he finally bit the one who lives next door. I know she has 'issues' and almost undoubtedly tormented him and Max in their pen but we couldn't have a dog who bites around and dear Mr. B went to the vet's office and didn't come home. The dog who slept on her bed the night we brought him home and who loved her with a depth that seemed endless went away nearly a year and a half ago. She still mourns for him. Max is a fine dog. But he's not her heart's companion. So today when Desi called to ask if I would take the mini-dachshund puppy she cannot keep I hesitated to even consider it. I said 'no'. But somehow we're going to meet her tomorrow and talk about this little brown thing who poohs in her crate and still potties on the floor.

Perhaps I weakened because Bella is down with a fever and very sore throat. Perhaps I'm barking mad. I may still be paddling but I've come to doubt if all my oars are in the water at present.

Seriously

Neti pot is a strange enough name but Nose Bidet?? Be careful what you read when perusing your gmail. Seriously.

I had the misfortune to listen to Sean Hannity for a few minutes today. What is up with that crackpot? Do people really listen and believe his crap? What alternate reality does that guy live in. And I do mean that - seriously.

how long can you tread water?

It's one of those days. You know the ones. Where no matter what you need to do you just want to crawl back under the covers and pull them up over your head. A few more gray, damp, dismal days and I may have to head for the sun somewhere. Blech.

But helping Bella get ready for the her science exhibit and learn more about the early days of the country before it became a country, help her find synonyms for interesting words and practice, practice, practice that math has pulled me from the depths. Well, that and a dose of Animal Crossing. Tom Nook, Peanuts and the other inhabitants of Bella's town (Mist) have once again cheered me up. Simple pleasures are best, I guess.

Missing

I'm missing my 'big' children and my momma. Everyone is so far away today on this gray, cloudy, windy, depressing day. I need a hug. And a kick in the ass to get moving.

Bella is down with a nasty tummy virus or something - not peanut butter caused - I think.

I haven't told Gary yet that I've encouraged Ashley to 'come home'. She so badly needs to change her life. I've offered her six months free room and board if she agrees to my terms.

Oh god, I do tilt at windmills...

I need a phone, just a phone

I don't think I need to surf the net and post from my phone. I waste enough time at home doing that. I don't have a paid job any longer so I don't have to keep up with stuff every freakin second of the day and night. Would it be fun to surf and post? Well, yeah. If I have to I can Twitter from my phone and wait to check updates from others when a computer is available. Hell, why do I need to read people's 'twit'ter every second of the day anyway? So no Blackberry for me. Iphone? It's fun and interesting but not for me. I just need a phone. It doesn't have to play music or store many photos. It doesn't need to tell me how to get places - and by the way I don't want Google telling people exactly where my phone and I are located. Buncha busybodies.

Bluetooth? Maybe. I'm on the road a lot and people call me (and I call people but don't tell anyone) when I'm driving. So a Bluetooth headset might come in handy. But hands free speakerphone could work too, don't you think? I am not impressed with people you see in shops and on the street talking, it appears at least, to themselves. With further examination I'll notice that thing around one ear. It seems silly and self-important to me but what do I know? So if I do get a Bluetooth headset you have my word I will only use it in the car.

But really if you can't talk on the phone and drive then you can't talk with anyone in your car either. Seriously. A conversation is a conversation whether you can see the person you're speaking with or not. Or, am I missing something. Holding a cell phone makes the conversation more dangerous?

Mental telepathy or something

My aunt called today. She wanted to make sure we were okay. We talked for about 10 minutes about life in general, she was trying to avoid mentioning Mom but I wouldn't let her. We both needed to say we missed her.

Within 5 seconds of hanging up the phone rang again. It was Mom's long time friend, Helen, calling to see if I want more of the wildflowers she collects. She had some red and orange daylilies saved for Mom. She was really calling to check on me.

Hmmmm, I wonder if I was sending out signals or something.

Thank you, Suzie and Happy Birthday Abe

Suzanne, you call made my day. You make me smile and cry and laugh. Maggie sounds like a hoot. I have to meet the dog who owns your heart.

200 years ago a (scrawny, rather ugly - I imagine) baby boy was born. His strength of character and force of will changed our world forever. Happy Birthday Abraham Lincoln. Someone is following in your footsteps. I wonder if you could ever have imagined.

Valentines and old friends

It's time. Time for Bella to decorate that box and make the treats she plans to hand out to her friends tomorrow. The freshly made rice krispie treats, dyed with a bit of red and squished into heart shapes with the help of a mold will be done at the last minute 'so they'll taste perfect.' Therefore the floor is strewn with card stock for making the tags for each carefully prepared bag and the paper used to cover that important box.

Gloria called to check on me. Old friends are the best. This one can often read my mind and occasionally I can read hers. It's wonderful to have connections that reach unseen across the miles. We used to share details of the lives of our little ones and now they have little ones. Time really does fly.

The spring peepers are back

The sound last night of the peepers calling from their muddy little homes lifted my spirits more than I thought possible. The cold and dreary days will pass. Spring will come.

It's been a long winter here - a 'dark night of the soul' to borrow from St. John of the Cross. Mother's final decline and passing on the morning after Christmas was both horrible and beautiful to witness. She was so physically ready to leave but still holding back mentally, I believe. But in her final days, though she didn't seem much different outwardly - not more breathless and no additional pain - she seemed to 'know' she didn't have much time. She had me buy Christmas cards to mail to people she hadn't spoken to in a while and who she knew needed to hear from her. She called Chris and Eric on Christmas afternoon when she would traditionally not call but wait to hear from her grandchildren and spoke with them at length. By the time Jen, Tim and Heather, Jeff, Thea and Sabina arrived on Christmas evening she had seen or spoken with each of her twelve grandchildren in the previous weeks. She had completed specific tasks she felt were important like shredding old paperwork and calling a cousin she hadn't spoken with in years, checking on a frail family member she was worried about.

She went to sleep that night after a joyous evening with some of her grandchildren and her namesake great-granddaughter and did not awaken the next morning. Our world is so much smaller without her in it but we all know she left without fuss or noise just as she wished. And, she left in privacy but yet surrounded by people who loved her deeply. She did indeed do it her way. The day after her death a deluge of rain fell flooding streets, road and creeks. Then (this was December 27 in mid-Missouri) a huge double rainbow appeared in view of our home. A sign? It sounds silly but it was very comforting nonetheless.


So we go on with life, working toward the 'new normal' without her here. This past weekend my sister, Anne, and my daughter, Jen, arrived to help tackle the sorting and disbursing of her personal 'effects'. It was both painful and joyous requiring frequent breaks to cry or gather strength or share memories. It also required wine and margaritas.

Spring will come but not soon enough for me. I need blue skies not gray and sun, lots of sun.